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Railroad Rhyme Time

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An Easterly Poem

When a train on the New York, New Haven and Hartford went rolling one day Clink Clank down the track Without stopping or backing The passengers fainted away. Arthur W. Dobson (?)

More RR Limericks

A bum on his bum when slip sliding, When he fell off a railroad siding, He collapsed several tents, There for circus events, Stole a bundle and went into hiding.	A railroad hotel in South Joisey, Is near switching trains and is noisy. A guest phoned the clerk, And yelled, "Hey, you jerk!" When does this hotel get to Boise?"
There was an Old Man at a Junction, Whose feelings were wrung with compunction, When they said, 'The train's gone!' he exclaimed, 'How forlorn!' But remained on the rails of the Junction.	A railway official at Crewe Met an engine one day that he knew. Though he nodded and bowed The engine was proud, And it cut him — it cut him in two.

"There's a train at 4:04," said Miss Jenny. "Four tickets I'll take; have you any?" Said the man at the door, "Not four for 4:04, For four for 4:04 is too many."

The Pennsy and the NYC are fine, But not the swiftest on the line. Sending cargo to or from the great Midwest? Ship Alphabet Route, by far the best. CNJ, RDG, WM, PWV, WLE, NKP. Really Fast Freight!

Lyrics: "City of New Orleans"

written by Steve Goodman, performed by Arlo Guthrie Ridin' on the City of New Orleans Illinois Central, Monday mornin' rail 15 cars & 15 restless riders Three conductors, 25 sacks of mail All along the southbound odyssey the train pulls out of Kankakee Rolls along past houses, farms & fields Passin' graves that have no name, freight yards full of old black men And the graveyards of rusted automobiles Good mornin' America, how are you? Don't you know me? I'm your native son! I'm the train they call the City of New Orleans I'll be gone 500 miles when the day is done Dealin' cards with the old men in the club car Penny a point, ain't no one keepin' score Pass the paper bag that holds the bottle And feel the wheels grumblin' neath the floor And the sons of Pullman porters & the sons of engineers Ride their fathers' magic carpet made of steel Mothers with their babes asleep, rockin' to the gentle beat And the rhythm of the rails is all they feel Good morning America how are you? Don't you know me I'm your native son, I'm the train they call The City of New Orleans, I'll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done. Night time on the City of New Orleans Changin' cars in Memphis, Tennessee Halfway home, we'll be there by mornin' Thru the Mississippi darkness rollin' down to the sea But all the towns & people seem to fade into a bad dream And the steel rail still ain't heard the news The conductor sings his song again "The passengers will please refrain: This train has got the disappearin' railroad blues Good night, America, how are you? Don't you know me I'm your native son, I'm the train they call The City of New Orleans, I'll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done. ©1970, 1971 EMI U Catalogue, Inc and Turnpike Tom Music

The Job

I'm not allowed to run the train The whistle I can't blow I'm not the one who designates How far the train will go I'm not allowed to blow the steam Or even ring the bell But let the damn thing jump the track And see who catches hell. author unknown

Drive like A railroad engineer Take it easy When the road's Not clear Burma-Shave 1939	Guys whose eyes Are in their backs Get halos crossing Railroad tracks Burma-Shave 1940
Remember this saying And you'll be spared, Trains don't whistle Because they're scared. Burma-Shave 1941	This was once an Abandoned railroad bed That became Pennsylvania's Turnpike instead Burma-Shave 1941 local contribution
Trains don't wander All over the map For no one sits On the engineer's lap Burma-Shave 1941	He saw The train And tried to duck it Kicked first the gas And then the bucket Burma-Shave 1949
He tried To cross As fast train neared Death didn't draft him He volunteered Burma-Shave 1950	The hobo Lets his whiskers sprout It's trains — not girls That he takes out Burma-Shave 1951
Train approaching Whistle squealing Pause! Avoid that Rundown feeling! Burma-Shave 1951	Train wrecks few Reason clear Fireman Never hugs Engineer Burma-Shave 1951

Funny Ditties politically correct ones (sorry no monkey, doggie, bunny, or cherry)

A Peanut's Misfortune... A peanut sat on the railroad track, His heart was all a flutter, Here comes the 3:59 Toot toot Peanut Butter

The Apple Don't Fall Too Far From The Peanut An apple sat on a railroad track... Feeling blue and cross... Around the bend came Number 10... Toot Toot... Apple Sauce

A Winters Tale? II

Getting to my Railway Shed's like getting out of jail! Attempts to slip out quietly Inevitably fail....... "You've been coughing and you're sneezing like you're comming down with flu if you go and make it worse then I'm not looking after you!" Replies must be immediate Forthright, convincing, bold...... "I'b goin' to my railway an' I habben godda code!"

A Winters Tale? I

My heart is warm with friends I make, and better friends I'll not be knowing; Yet there isn't a train I wouldn't take, No matter where it's going. Edna St.Vincent Millay